Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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