Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
