it wasn't lemon gatorade
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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