i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
