You made me cry and you don't even care
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
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