careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I've blown a few things in my day
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
