Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
