The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
