Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
