Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
