if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
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At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
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He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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