Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I forget how to act sober
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
