Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
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