My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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