How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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