I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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