o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
