He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
