I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
