Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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