How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
