I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
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My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
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I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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