I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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