We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
