remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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