Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
