Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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