Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize