Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize