I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
