Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
