My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
