I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
