Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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