I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I need a burrito and a hug.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
