We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I need moral support for this bender
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
