I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.