Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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