Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
