so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
