Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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