Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
