Your tits are I can't wait for
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
