Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
