FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
