so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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