How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
