wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
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It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
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We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex