shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Dating After Heartbreak
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
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i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children