Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men