Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i can't believe i had my finger in that
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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