Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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