Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
