remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
