Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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