he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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