OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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