He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
