I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
