Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows