I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.