I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.