She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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